


Closure :  Teddy

by JLKnox



Series: Principles of Gestalt [6]
Category: The Rook (TV 2019)
Genre: Cooking, F/M, Finally the smut, Good god this is long, Hetero Sex, Homemade Stern Brunch Daddy, Implied/Referenced Torture, Multi, Mystery solved?, Plot Twist, Secrets, So much talking, Still heart-eyes, Teddy's accent, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Woman on Top, accidental confessions, kinda slow burn, kinda vanilla, not against Myfanwy, physical violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 23:36:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20647565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JLKnox/pseuds/JLKnox
Summary: Teddy's left in Brussels to sort this mess out and it takes several days. What he discovers follows him home and potentially threatens Myfanwy, so despite not having slept for days, he goes into protect-mode. But NewMyf may not necessarily need that from Gestalt anymore -- or at least less than she did when she was OldMyf.---Thousands of memories flash by: near misses, just-abouts, soooooo closes, with each body, but more often than not with Teddy, and then the one incredible moment when she was mine – and the torturous week following where it was clear she was not.Her hair is up against Teddy’s cheek and her full weight is against him. Robert is speeding back to the flat, trying to get someplace safe. She looks up at me, eyes full of conflicting emotions, lips and chin trembling. “I don’t think you could have expected that, Gestalt – I don’t think you screwed up.” She swallows and sniffs. “You’re allowed to be… to be a person…and have dates and let your guard down for one second.”





	Closure :  Teddy

**Author's Note:**

> For those unfamiliar:  
Different from psychological "closure", the Gestalt principle of closure is when your eyes think they see something because it's implied, even if an outline isn't entirely defining it. Your mind completes the picture into what you think it should be, sometimes even defined by its absence.
> 
> The reason this distinction is important is because there is one more part coming.

On barely 3 hours of sleep between the 20 minutes in the door frame and what I could grab upstairs in the original suite, the Teddy body is functioning solely on the power of adrenaline, tea, and remembering moments of Eliza’s encounters with Myfanwy last night. Even in this state, I can tell that he stinks and his hair is slowly melting into Alex’s ‘do.

How is it that when I was running all over town, addlepated for my date, I did not think of the concierge? I would have completely thwarted Myfanwy’s efforts to blacklist me from designers if I’d just sent an underling to do it. But no, all caught up in the ‘I work alone’ mystique, it never occurred to me.

All this runs through my mind as Bishop Clifton looks at Teddy as if he’s an idiot when he let her know he was leaving to go buy more clothes than the jeans and tee he left home in 20 hours ago.

“Send the concierge if you need something purchased. I don’t have any ops to spare and I’m needed out to negotiate the terms of the prisoner’s release to us.” That makes my jaw clench and my temple twinge.

“I’s’told Bishop Aldrich was comin t’handle vese fings. Sorry, ma’am, but I wasn’t aware you’d be steppin in.”

“Do you see Aldrich? The train won’t get him here for another hour at least – someone may as well begin rolling that boulder uphill, and I am here.” Teddy’s fist flexes and nostrils flare: reflexes that I keep from turning into larger gestures.

“All due respect, Aldrich ‘as dealt wif both vese governments afore, on several occasions.” She breathes in very long and slow and turns on her heel to fix Teddy with another withering glare.

“And I am no stranger to diplomacy, Theodore, so perhaps you will stick to what you’re good at and see what we can get out of Rook Thomas’ assailant before the relocation detail gets here to transfer him to an actual holding facility instead of …what? … hanging from our showerhead, was it?”

She’s trying to cow me, but the fact that she neither understands my power nor realizes that brawn is not mutually exclusive to brain tells me everything I need to know about her. If she doesn’t want me to know where she’s going, I will not follow.

Alex will.

Teddy looks her square in the eye and says, “S’not short fer anyfing.” She flinches and looks confused. I drop the accent. “My name is just Gestalt, and you may call this body Teddy, but that is not short for anything.” A hint of a flush flashes over her cheeks. I stare at her until she turns and walks away, flanked by plainclothes ops. Only after she’s out of sight of that body do I take it back into the suite where the prisoner is zip-tied and lying on his side on the loveseat.

In Mandarin, I have Teddy let the assailant know that the only reason he’s escaping another turn in the shower is because the Federale Politie are on their way to collect him and I don’t want to hand them a sopping mess. Teddy reaches over him and grabs the phone to call the concierge station and he flinches as the phone cord comes near his neck. Teddy grins down at him and small whimpers echo as I’m trying to talk about my clothing sizes and preferred brand of pomade. I order a two-piece suit, two dress shirts, another pair of jeans, a pair of gray suede chukkas, a cashmere Henley and various socks/underwear/tees – as easy as room service.

It’ll take a bit, so might as well chat with the man who tried to kill Myfanwy – again.

\---

A little more than an hour later, all the clothes except the suit arrive, and I tell the porter and the guard outside that no one is welcome in for the next hour. I’ve learned a few little snippets from my friend. We’re both pretty tired, so I put on a pot of coffee to brew while I’m cleaning Teddy up. I lift up the prisoner by his elbow and literally toss him in the corner of the bathroom, apologizing for the fact that he’s going to have to see Teddy naked. I lock the bathroom door and step into a scalding-hot, restorative shower.

Trying to keep him awake without thinking too much about last night, I feel Teddy’s muscles relax as I work the old product out of his hair. Halfway through lathering, I hear some scuffling noises and I step Teddy out of the stall and put the towel to his face, growling while trying to keep the shampoo out of his eyes. You try to be nice and in thanks, the bastard has his back to the door, trying to reach the lock with his restrained hands. Prepared, Teddy grabs an extra zippy from the sink and uses it to attach the man to the towel bar.

So much for a restorative shower. Pulling the door shut, I make sure to keep Teddy pointed face-out at the man who can’t either sit or stand fully the way his arms are zip-tied at an awkward height. I get the shampoo out and keep the most uncomfortable eye-contact with him as I wash the rest of Teddy’s body, spinning quickly to rinse, change the delicious water to shocking cold for a moment, and then turn it off. Even though he’s secure for now, I do not trust the integrity of that towel rack to support him for long.

“Fuck you, you fucker. Where ya think ya gonna go? Just want a goddamn washup but no, ya gotta be a fucking prick.” Teddy slams out of the bathroom door and gets his Stanley knife out of his jeans pocket. He extends the blade fully, touches it under the prisoner’s chin and makes deeply significant eye contact of an entirely different nature than I do with Myf. “You. Owe. Me.” He moves the knife back behind the man’s neck. “A. Shower.” I don’t care that it’s in English, I’m expecting Teddy’s tone to communicate universally. With a flick, the captive’s weight crashes to the floor as the second tie releases the one still holding the wrists together. Teddy steps over him, dripping, and closes the door, shutting him inside.

Grateful for just a few minutes of relief while Mr. Attempted-Assassin tries to get out of the bathroom, Teddy walks around, air-drying and using the half-wet towel to get the important bits. The jeans aren’t as fitted as looks best on Teddy, and the new boots pinch a little, but as I pull on the undershirt and then the black cashmere Henley, I admire the way it clings in all the right places.

Scrabbling sounds start coming from the bathroom again. Teddy pours a cup of coffee, letting it cool on the counter and I realize his hair is nearly dry. Smiling a little, I have him open the door enthusiastically just as the doorknob is actually beginning to turn slightly. Since it opens inward, the prisoner goes sprawling, and Teddy full-on grins. “Sorry, fergot dis.” He grabs the pomade and closes the door behind him again.

I could do this all day.

After the second repetition, however, I decide that while fun, it is not actually getting me anywhere, and I’m done with my cup of joe, so I drag my captive into the kitchenette for more of a talk – specifically about how hot the liquid inside the coffee brewer gets. Spoiler: hot enough to really hurt, but not hot enough to cause a blistering burn on human skin.

As we’re cleaning up after that chat, during which I learned a few things, I’m interrupted by the King’s Bishop. Claudia and her entourage enter in a huff. My ops – because they are mine, although assigned to her – salute and greet Teddy, and oddly, the Chinese man stops whimpering for just an almost unnoticeable second, taking in a sharp breath instead. Teddy keeps his focus on Clifton’s complaints about how uncooperative the local police are being.

“No shit,” says Alex, rolling his eyes and keeping an eye on Aldrich who is just de-boarding the Eurostar.

“Interesting,” says Eliza, who is making sure Myfanwy gets into her flat without incident.

“Fucking cunt,” says Robert, who begins zooming back through footage, looking for what will support my hunch.

Teddy’s fists flex closed to open as her incessant kvetching further opens up an internal sore that will not heal quickly if supporting evidence is found. I never trust people who treat Teddy as a tool, but I try not to let it lead me down shady and shadowy avenues of thought bred from resentment.

\--

Before lunch, Bishop Aldrich arrives, and his visit to the General Commissioner goes much more smoothly, as he comes equipped with a few favorite treats. Aldrich and Teddy deliver the prisoner, visibly unharmed, and begin proceedings to file paperwork and meet with the Chinese ambassador the next day.

That evening, Teddy’s suit arrives, in a lovely shade of deep blue somewhere between royal and navy. Just putting it on allows the body to relax in a way that it hasn’t since leaving the flat in London. I honestly had time to stop and change before getting in the car, but it was not even close to the front of my mind as I watched the events through Eliza’s eyes. Now the world seems a little more pleasant, orderly, and refined, so both Bishops, the GC, and I step out for dinner.

The next day’s meetings are tense, but while the bureaucrats hash it out, I take a few of my men – and women – to visit the prisoner. With Eliza in the surveillance system, I walk in with the two ops I “borrowed” from Clifton flanking me this time. The man’s eyes pop out slightly when he sees me, his left hand unconsciously soothing the skin on his right. When he sees the agents behind me, his eyes quickly transfer to the ground, and Eliza sees the gesture mirrored by the male operative.

Gotcha, cunts. Fucking inside job.

\--

Eliza and Alex quickly compile a set of video footage stills and clips, and Robert starts requesting call logs. By the next day, when we leave Brussels with the prisoner, Grantchester has a few incriminating details. I’ll have more concrete evidence by the time the plane lands.

“Rook Gestalt, I would assume you’d be in cargo with the pris--“ Bishop Clifton’s voice trails off as she sees the prisoner behind me. He’s still zip-tied, of course, I’m not stupid, but her discomfort is apparent. I’m not sure I can get her to slip up – she’s very slippery on her own – but I can throw her off her game for a second.

I seat the prisoner and take my seat nearby, swiveling the seat to look at her. “I feel he’s been frew enough, ya? Might swell let ‘im relax fer an hour til he gets to the Chequy and the fun _really_ begins.” Teddy’s smirk is almost audible. She visibly recoils, packs up her laptop and moves seats as far as she can.

“Highly unorthodox. Aldrich, this is on you if it goes poorly.” She shoots her counterpart a look that tells Teddy he’s not the only object of her disrespect.

My boss looks at me and raises an eyebrow. Teddy hasn’t had a chance to speak with him directly, but he got a call from the King this morning, I’m assuming with some of the intel I gave through the bodies in London.

“I have confidence in Gestalt’s choices,” replies Aldrich, “I’m certain they have their reasons.” He raises an eyebrow and makes eye contact with the camera facing him, so the me monitoring the cams will know it’s all-inclusive. The Queen’s Bishop and I are rarely in the same place, but it’s because he knows I do my job without mistakes and only need his help when red tape can be cut through with glad-handing. Not my strong suit, that.

Bishop Clifton keeps her body turned toward the prisoner in a position of distrust with her shoulders hunched, and her head glances up at him often. After takeoff, the female plainclothes bodyguard stays with Clifton, while the male operative patrols. Teddy looks at Aldrich, then gets up to tail the op. A few minutes later, Teddy returns, tucking his phone into the breast pocket of his suit coat, with the most of a smile he gives to anyone other than Myf. I position him behind the prisoner, standing at attention until the call comes to sit and buckle up. The male agent doesn’t return, and the ladies look at each other. “No worries. Agent…uh, whatevva…is comfy. You’ll see him back at the Checquy.”

And we do, escorted by Eliza from the prisoner transport down in cargo, with handcuffs on and maybe a bruising lump on his forehead. Feeling strongly his guilt would be confirmed, I did not feel it was intelligent to give him and the caught assailant time alone together to get their stories straight, which is why the other spent his ride in the main cabin. The Bishops disappear, apparently for some highly sensitive, emergency de-briefing with the King. Teddy hands the Chinese prisoner over to Alex on the tarmac. Robert strikes up a conversation with the female bodyguard, technically his subordinate, but do you think she cares, when he’s smiling at her like that?

All of me is exhausted – we’ve all been on overdrive trying to nail down evidence, keep Myfanwy safe, and do the rest of our job. It’s Saturday and none of me has seen her all day but we did get a heartmoji to the group text this morning. Teddy’s the only body with free hands, so despite this body’s exhaustion, it’s on him to bring her the news. This isn’t something you say over text.

I get the car out of short-term and Teddy probably didn’t fall asleep on the drive over to hers. I park in the garage; I didn’t text ahead. Greeting the usual porter – the one who actually knows me – I let myself up to the flat and ring the bell, face to the cam to lessen the surprise.

The door opens slightly and Teddy barrels through. Myf is probably saying something? But he’s tuned out, mostly exhausted but her well-being first in my mind even in this state. I look around, the closest effective thing I see is a living room chair. Clumsily, I make my way to it, pick it up and bring it back to the door, place it about two inches away, sit in it, and pass out, mumbling something about locking the doors for her.

I text her from Robert’s phone a few seconds later. “Forgive him, he hasn’t really slept since Tuesday night – the person who organized the attack in Brussels has returned to London. I know you can defend yourself, but sleep-dep Teddy functions purely on instinct and I feel better with one of me there. Even knackered.”

“Ok,” she texts back, “but I was just ready to meet some folks for brunch. Now I can’t get out.” Myf kicks Teddy’s foot with her own. Shakes the chair. He may as well be dead…except alive deadweight is heavier and more resistant.

Alex replies, “Right. That’s the point. Make your apologies and maybe an omelet.”

\--

The smell of butter and sound of eggs hitting the pan wake Teddy about an hour later, with a severe crick in his neck and ache in his tailbone. Groaning in several octaves, he pulls himself out of the torture device posing as a chair.

“Fuckin ‘ell – if I’d had that chair in Brussels, we’d had answers in two shakes,” I say as he stretches near the counter where his suitcoat is absent. Myfanwy glares over her shoulder at him.

“It wasn’t designed with sleeping in mind, I don’t think. But I’m _glad_ you’re out of sorts – what the hell was the idea of locking me in my own home?” She gestures emphatically with a spatula while she tips the pan to spread out the egg.

Teddy’s expression darkens from the smile he’d been starting at the domestic scene in front of him – the idea of breakfast with Myfanwy makes me very happy, indeed, but clearly something went sideways. His jaw sets and eyes flash. “Supposed to keep them out – you’re welcome.” Dammit, it is so easy to sound angry with his voice. “I literally ran here from the station. I dinnint know if she’d made arrangements from the plane – bloody wifi everywhere.”

“Will somebody _please_ tell me what’s going on? Eliza said it wasn’t a text conversation and you fell asleep before I even knew what was happening.” She flips the omelet and Teddy looks confused – first because I thought I explained everything and second because if you’re cooking an omelet properly you don’t need to flip the egg.

I open the coat closet, grab the apron, remove the pan from her hand and re-flip the omelet before too much damage is done. Teddy turns down the heat on the burner and looks for fillings. “Fought I tolja – the person who arranged the attacks in Brussels juss came back ta London. I feel better wit one a me here. Alex, Eliza, an Robert were all on prisoner duty an seein if they could get info dat Teddy couldn’t. So I came here to make sure there wasn’t anovver attack in the works.”

“Right, and I have a panic room and I have control of my power. You couldn’t just text me to be on guard and let me make my own choices?”

Teddy watches the omelet without looking back at her. He slides it onto a plate, folding it expertly as he does. Moving the plate toward the wall, he places the pan on a cold burner and begins scrambling a few more eggs. Myf reaches for the plate and he shakes his head, still looking down.

“You ain’t want that one, s’overdone. I’ll have you another one quick.” She picks up the plate anyway, sticks her fork in it and takes a bite, glowering.

“This is the one I made – mostly. It’s fine, it tastes how it always tastes.” Teddy’s hand reaches out to hers, easing the plate and the fork away from her, probably standing too close, his eyes full of something between resentmet and regret but finding hers.

“Imma _make_ ya breakfast after all the inconvenience I caused you. I promise, you’ll like it better.”

She pouts, “But this will get cold while you make mine,” he nods and shrugs.

“Don’t mind. Cook eats last is the rule.” She crosses her arms and leans against the counter and he begins the new omelet after the butter begins to dance.

“You’re right. I prolly shoulda let ya make yer own choices an not chose fer you.” He looks up from the egg for a second and into her eyes. “It’s a learnin curve, yah? You’re not the only one gettin used to you bein a new you.” She looks like she wants to retort, but I barrel through. “But I needed t’talk t’ya, an I wanted t’keep ya safe. So I rushed over an the body juss hit a wall.” As the egg begins to set, he lowers the flame again and adds fillings. “There’s a lot to talk about wit dis,” he looks up at her, “but let’s do it on a full stomach?”

“How is it that even though I know you just mean talk, for real, talk – you can make it sound so threatening?” Her face is teasing, so I know it’s a jest, but I still flinch a little. Teddy’s habits are hard to temper; I wish I’d had the luxury to send a different me.

Teddy sighs, deeply, and clanks the finished dish on the counter near her. The egg is thin and delicate, light and fluffy, with perfectly melted cheese and exactly the right temperature. He turns off the burner, quickly wipes down the counter, whips off the apron and ushers her out of the kitchen with his less-than-perfect dish in hand. As they sit, she takes a bite, and her eyes flutter as she tastes the butter and cheese and egg in harmony.

“Fucking hell, Gestalt, why isn’t Teddy a chef?” He blushes and laughs a little.

“Give Gordon Ramsay a run fer is money, yeah? Bof talent an temperament.” She chuckles herself, and her demeanor softens entirely. Food’ll do that.

“Lissen, Myf – I know yer grateful for what I did in Brussels, but facts are I messed up an messed up badly, several times over.” Our faces get serious as we continue to eat. “I got distracted, I missed things.” Her face screws up in confusion. “It’s so obvious, I shoulda been three steps ahead an I wasn’t – " he pauses for a long inhale, "but it looks like Bishop Clifton organized the attacks on ya.”

Her fork lowers and clanks on her plate, completely gobsmacked. I keep going.

“Grantchester knows, but right now, we only got enough to put away the pawn who ackshually made the arrangements. She was very, very careful. But the guy you shocked was one a’her bodyguards, and da Chinese guy was a decoy. Cuz a me, her ops knew when we’d be away from t’hotel an she was able t’get copies a’ all the keycards.”

Myf puts down her plate, only 2/3 eaten. She leans back on the couch, face vacillating between confusion and nearly crying. “Because Grantchester is promoting me and not her?”

Teddy leans over puts his hand on her knee and looks up at her, shrugs one shoulder.

“I mean, it makes sense, yah? She ‘ad every right to think she’d be Queen next, but t’fact she’d do vis makes it easy to see why she ain’t.” He slides forward on his chair and reaches for her hands, but she’s distracted and distraught. I stand up his large frame and come around the table. “Budge over,” I say, and when she doesn’t, he growls and steps over her legs to sit down next to her on the couch. Teddy’s hands engulf hers and bring her over to him. She rests her head on his shoulder and he moves his arm around hers.

I sit with her for a few moments, half wondering why she isn’t crying but also knowing that it’s too much, too big to take in all at once. Back at the Checquy, the others finish up their paperwork and want to be sure to scram before the King’s finished speaking with both Bishops – I don’t trust myselves around the traitorous bitch, _and_ being this close to Myf with just one body is already breaking down my defenses. Alex feels too dizzy to drive and Eliza seems disoriented.

In the meantime, Teddy’s stomach growls and Myf seems out, processing. Teddy gestures silently to her remaining egg and she waves her hand. With the one arm not around her, he makes short work of her leftovers – vastly superior, even cold.

After some time passes in silence, Teddy says softly. “I know I screwed up in Brussels an I know I screwed up here. I can’t make dose decisions fer ya, an at t’same time, it’s too hard fer me t’think a losin y’again.” Thousands of memories flash by: near misses, just-abouts, soooooo closes, with each body, but more often than not with Teddy, and then the one incredible moment when she was mine – and the torturous week following where it was clear she was not.

Her hair is up against Teddy’s cheek and her full weight is against him. Robert is speeding back to the flat, trying to get someplace safe. She looks up at me, eyes full of conflicting emotions, lips and chin trembling. “I don’t think you could have expected that, Gestalt – I don’t think you screwed up.” She swallows and sniffs. “You’re allowed to be… to be a _person_…and have dates and let your guard down for one second.”

Teddy’s hand grips hers too tightly and his jaw tenses, I quickly realize and let go of her hand, saying, “Shit, sorry, fuck, did I hurt you?” and she shakes her head but rubs her hand a little. “Dat’s just it, Myf – I can’t – not while I’m on duty an not while I’m protectin _you_.” He breathes in slowly and takes her hand back gently. “What you maybe don’ realize…don’ remember… is vat the reason I love you is because you have always been my friend. You treated me wif a kindness ovver people dinnint fink about cuz they was so caught up bein confused by me. Fuck, even when y’woke up blank, it dinnint take y’long to get the gist a’me.” Her eyelids flutter and I think she’s processing everything I’ve said…_everything_ that maybe I didn’t mean to say yet. “So protectin’ ya, it’s been the way I’ve repaid ya for that—every day since an every day movin forward.” She’s looking right at me now, our faces so close that I have Robert pull over on a side street, double-parked, hazards flashing. “I’m not sure what I’d do if I lose you – in any manner a speakin.”

Every body has tears in its eyes, remembering and projecting a life without Myfanwy. It’s not a thought I can stand for every long. “So it’s the fing I gotta do at any cost – keep ya safe.”

She looks up, our noses almost touching. I have no idea what the look on her face means until she crosses the last inch, and I hold back, allowing the kiss to be gentle, and tender, slow and searching. Everything the Founder’s Feast frantic makeout against the pillar was not. More like the kiss with Eliza. It’s difficult in this clumsy body – too big, too unwieldy, less practiced. The difference between this body and Robert’s or Eliza’s is pronounced, and Teddy’s teeth accidentally bite her lip.

Myf breathes in sharply and pulls back quickly. Teddy’s face is concerned again, even with the tears having spilled; I’m concerned I hurt her with this thug-in-a-suit. Her breath is heavy, but she doesn’t look hurt…or angry…she looks the way she did before she ran off the last time. Like she’s trying to keep herself from doing more.

She wipes the tears off his face and leans her head back on his shoulder. Robert waits a beat, then takes off like a rally driver; I’m trying to get back to the flat by taking side roads before anything else happens. “Are you safe?” she asks, and I shake Teddy’s head no. “How long til you are?”

“Wif traffic? Maybe anovver ten minutes?” She puts her hand on Teddy’s face and lets out a deep sigh. All of me puts my hands to the same cheeks, Teddy’s hand covering hers and bringing her palm to his mouth to kiss. Electricity sparks through each of my bodies’ lips, and a few thoughts begin to form.

In the silence, it seems she decides to change tracks.

“I think I want to say, Gestalt, that what you just said is really moving. It helps me understand. And maybe it was the best way for you to show OldMyf you cared without threatening your friendship.” Teddy bites his bottom lip and looks down, nodding. “But I’m only part-her.” She leans down to catch his eyes and squeeze his hands, “And we’re turning out to be more than friends, I think?” I look all the way up. I know she just kissed me and I fucked it up, but I’m filled with hope, and at least four knees go weak in the car park near my building. “So maybe…since I’m stronger now…and our relationship is different…you could think of other ways to repay me?” She puts her hand on Teddy's thigh, too high.

The snarl he emits is betrayed by the pink bleeding up Teddy’s neck and just touching his ears. His heart-rate spikes and a cold sweat breaks out. This is absolutely _not_ what I had planned. Any body would have been a better choice. I was thinking this is a third- or fourth-time admission.

I'm still growly because the rest of me is still driving and I told her it wasn't safe. "I need to tell ya somefing else first.” She takes her hand back, takes a deep breath, sits up and looks Teddy straight in the eyes.

“I’m not sure I’m mentally prepared for another big reveal, Gestalt. It’s been a day already and it’s barely 2.” Teddy smiles weakly. “Does it need to be now?” She takes his hands in hers and traces circles on the backs with her thumbs.

“Ah…” Teddy stammers a little as I try to decide. Would it change anything? Would it hurt her not to know?

“Is it bigger than the fact that you just told me you loved me?”

Right, then. She did catch that. Fuck. None of this was supposed to be Teddy. Robert is more eloquent. Alex could have made light of it. Maybe not Eliza but definitely not Teddy. “Ah…” Fuck, this is bollocksed all to hell. “Well, I… uh… it’s hard. Because of OldYou and NewYou and …” She is smiling now, a little amused at this me trying to find the words to undo or at least walk it back a little.

“I’ll put an asterisk in it, how about that? Somewhere in the intersection between Old and New, friendship and romance, you feel intimacy with me?” I nod Teddy’s head, grateful that she’s come to this conclusion on her own. Teddy can be articulate in many ways, but my feelings don’t really come out of his mouth very easily. 

It's her turn to take a breath. "I'm a little reluctant to collect someone else's debt," my heart starts tho ache, this was so the wrong time, the wrong body, everything is going wrong, "but I can't ignore whatever this is any more than I can ignore that she was part of me. The memories come whether I want them or not." Fuck this is brutal; eight kinds of sideways. Does she want me or not? “I think you should know, Gestalt, that I have been remembering a lot lately. _A lot._ I think I can see some of where you’re coming from.”

The three open my flat door and close it quickly, finding places to sit that may or may not be right inside the hallway. Just to escape the rest of this conversation, and because I really want to, I have Teddy kiss her again, trying with some success to be less clumsy than last time. Her hands travel up the back of his neck, ruffling his hair backwards. I want to pull her toward me tightly, but using the same amount of force with Teddy as I would Eliza provides very different results. The mental adjustments are too difficult as her electricity buzzes through four brains, funneled through one. She gasps and her hand is squeezing my arm at her waist. Goddamn it, I have to say something.

We pull apart, gasping, and she moves back a little on the couch. “I take it you’re home, then.” Teddy nods and catches his breath. “Perhaps…we should move to a secondary location? This couch really has not too much padding.” She stands, takes his hand, and leads him into the bedroom. I kick off his half-boots as we go, and lose the socks by the time we’re through the door. He’s sweating so much, I would never have her remove them.

“Ah…” seems to be the sound Teddy’s mouth prefers to make today, and it is irritating even me. She turns to face him and slides her fingers under his braces at the shoulders. His face heats as she pulls them down off his arms. “Can I…” her hands slip under his waistband, moving toward his fly. “Myf –“ I manage to get out, and his hands circle her wrists, pausing them before their destination. “Please,” she looks up into his eyes. “Please…understand. I want this…” her expression grows wary, concerned he’s going to stop short. “But I need you to understand something.” Teddy takes a long, slow breath in. “I’ve been trying to get you to understand… about the bodies having different skills, and experiences…”

Realization seems to sink in from above, starting in her eyebrows and lifting every part of her face, culminating in a small smile. “Teddy’s the only one who crashed a car…” He nods slightly. “So Teddy doesn’t have as much… practice?” His face is stoic but his eyes try to say it as I shake his head back and forth. “If I ask, will you tell me how much practice?” I lower his eyes and shake my head again. “No you won’t tell me?” she sighs, “That’s ok, it’s not important, I was just curious…” I take my hands off her wrists and hold her face so she’s looking at me full on as I shake Teddy’s head again, slower and more deliberate. The same slow realization seems to bring her face down this time and she takes a small step back. “You mean…no…none?” And all I can do is stare back for a moment, feeling the deep red, full-body blush visible on Teddy’s face. When nothing else happens, I shrug one shoulder.

She sits down, heavily, on the edge of the bed. “Is…is it too much?” Teddy asks, softer than even I knew his voice could go. Talk about firsts. She looks up.

“Is it because of me?” I breathe in slowly for seven and out for five. She takes that as an answer. “It’s a lot.” I nod. No one else at the flat is moving. There’s nothing to do. I could have tried to not say anything, to just try – I mean, it’s not like _I_ haven’t before – but clearly this body just isn’t functioning the way I would want it for our first time in her memory. I sit down gently on the edge of the bed, but giving her space. After a few breaths, she moves Teddy’s chin so he’s looking at her and leans in for another, less-awkward kiss. “See? You’re getting better already,” she smiles.

I laugh. “You ‘ave no idea how glad I am vat you don’ remember our kiss from Founder’s,” she snorts a little.

“So you said,” and her grin is a little wicked…”But wait – does that mean it was your – Teddy’s – first?” Teddy bites his bottom lip. “Oh my God, Gestalt! You should definitely cut yourself some slack for that. Poor Teddy, being taunted for not being perfect on the first try!” She kisses the corner of his mouth. “As for remembering…” she pauses, and Teddy’s eyes question her, “…would it change anything if I did?”

“Only juss increase m’mortification levels… possibly beyond function.” Her eyes flick down at my lap.

“Doesn’t seem to be affecting anything…” and she leans toward me for another slow kiss, showing Teddy how to respond to her exploring lips and tongue. Every time the pace begins to increase, she's slowing it down, taking deep breaths through her nose. Loosening my grip on her when his strength is forgotten, leaning in to the way his arms and hands cover so much of her back at once.

Pulling her closer, I undo the buttons on my cuffs behind her back as her kisses trail up my neck. I inhale fast and deep as I feel for the first time how having a mouth on the pulse point of Teddy’s jaw feels in real life, as opposed to through the filter of a different body, each one of those gasping, feeling her mouth more potently than any previous kiss. I slide my hands under her shirt, tracing them up the bare skin of her back, nothing stopping them as they reach her shoulders. My confusion communicates through a slight pause. She whispers up at me that she rarely wears a bra unless at work. The excitement felt at that statement results in probably too much force being applied through my kiss and my grip.

She pulls back slowly and unfastens my top three buttons, considers Teddy’s face and then adds one more before pulling my dress shirt over his head. She lies back and shimmies out of her leggings, pulling down her pants with them and out of my sightline. Probably she wasn’t wearing what she thought she’d be for our “first” time, either. Teddy’s hands roam over her hips and down her slender legs, catching her under the knees and kissing her there until she gasps. I mean, I still know all the moves and likely sensitive places, it’s just that these hands are so damned clumsy.

Sitting up, still clad in her tee, she peels off Teddy’s undershirt and presses her face against his broad chest. Only a soft, very pale down decorates it sparsely, and she presses a kiss to my breastbone. She pushes against me slightly, and I slide off the bed to standing. Her long fingers undo my fasten and zip as she kisses from my navel downwards. Teddy’s heart seems to stop and his breathing definitely does. I wipe all the minds completely blank, looking inward at only a vast empty blackness which I try to fill with complicated maths or else this moment will end entirely too soon.

In the space of that time, she’s gotten Teddy’s trousers down and I step out of them quickly. She’s pulling off her shirt, saying, “Thank you for telling me.” When she’s completely bare, she eases down my boxers and says, “I think I’ll be prepared, then, for what happens next.” She wraps Teddy’s completely stiff prick in her hand, and brings it quickly to her lips.

I was not prepared – I’m not sure how she would be – but every body I have cries out simultaneously and loud enough to disturb the neighbors. Any mouth would have been a lot, but it’s _her_ mouth… she quickly kisses the tip of Teddy’s head and lays her tongue flat against it, sliding it just past her teeth to the ridge when I lose control completely. My spasm forces me deeper into her mouth, and she moves into it, opening her throat and sliding her lips down almost to the base. With her tongue massaging him, Teddy spurts several more times and she swallows most of it down…but there is a _lot_.

Teddy’s panting and the others are helpless on the floor – the walls among them completely erased. For a moment, it’s like we’re all one body and there are no separate voices, no difference between us. Like it used to be, before Glengrove. Eliza recovers first, confused and alarmed at the way she experienced all the male bodies in that instant. Teddy’s knees are buckling and Myfanwy helps him to the bed and plants a kiss on his temple.

“Be right back,” she says, easily standing her naked body and moving into the kitchen. Teddy’s ears barely register the ice clinking into the glass and she comes back with two waters. I’ve moved Teddy to one side of the bed, head on a pillow – with some difficulty – and she reaches over him to place the icewater on his nightstand, keeping the other for herself. She’s sitting up, leaning against the headboard and swishes her sip before swallowing.

Teddy places his arm around her waist and kisses her hip. She bumps it against him and says, “Sit up and hydrate, or have you lost all the knowledge Robert & Eliza have accumulated?” Discombobulated into rote compliance, I do as I’m told.

After a sip or three, I manage to get out, “Thank you for understanding,” and absentmindedly bring my thumb to my mouth. She grabs his hand and moves it between our thighs. Placing her water back on the nightstand, she takes my water from me and lays back entirely. I move down to match her. Turning her head on the pillow to look at me, she questions me with her eyes. “I really dinnint plan it dis way.” His face flushes again and I turn his eyes away. She moves my face back to look at hers. “I wanted – I wanted it to be Eliza first…or maybe Alex, you’d have fun wit him – but I fot dis would wait a bit. I’d tell you after a bit… after feelings were more…secure.” Teddy takes a pause to inhale slowly. I can’t stand to look at her, so I roll to my back and look at the ceiling. “I wanted to save something, one thing, just for you. Something the Checquy couldn’t make me use for them.”

She breathes in deeply. Her question comes softly. “If they had asked…would you have? Would Teddy have?”

I shrug, I honestly don’t know. I hope not. “Maybe it’s juss Teddy – or maybe it’s the type of women attracted to Teddy – but vey never asked. Maybe I projected an attitude that said ‘don’t ask’. Or maybe dis body is too useful for ovver fings.” I look down at my entire body – muscles in different places, even from Alex’s. Uncomfortable, I want to change the subject so I roll back to my side to look at her instead. My gaze takes her in from head to toe, centimeter by perfect centimeter. All of me gasp, although she can only hear the one. “Fuckin ell you’re gorgeous, Myf,” breathes Teddy, and slides his hand down her arm.

Her blush is full-bodied, coloring her knees and breasts and neck and cheeks as I stare. “Well, don’t think just because you got off easy that you’re going to get off easy,” she teases, and rolls toward me. “I might take it easy on you, but I expect to muss that perfect hair before we’re done. You’ll stagger out of here as curly as Alex…if you can walk at all.” Now it’s my turn to blush from toes to nose.

I kiss her and murmur against her lips, “mmm…I certainly hope so.” I focus and try to exert Eliza’s self-control from after the attack, keeping the pace steady and allowing us to touch places and be touched in places never felt by this body before. Each new place bringing a slight gasp of discovery, knowing how it feels and feeling it are so very, very different. She’s especially certain to run her hands through his hair, knowing how much they both like the sensation. Teddy’s erection is reinvigorated so soon that it’s painful, and the skin is still sensitive. She grins as she feels it press against her, but chuckles knowingly when Teddy hisses softly at her touch.

She pulls back for a second and tries to clear the haze out of her eyes. “I take it, if this body has never…then there’s no chance that you…have anything?” I shake Teddy’s head no. She takes a deep breath, “I looked through my files; my last test was six months ago and it was clean. I used a condom with…last time…the only time since I remember.” She looks away and Teddy’s teeth grind but we can let it go because she’s here now, with me, and that is what matters. “I have an IUD, but we can, there’s some rubbers in your drawer if you want.” I nod, ecstatic with the caveat because there’s no fucking way that I want…since everything else is sorted. She takes another breath and I kiss her to shut her up.

Still tender, Teddy’s not quite ready for round two, but Myf’s whimpers as we kiss get impatient and threaten to send Teddy to hyena territory. No body wants that, so I move his hands to her thighs, remembering the scars there but knowing that she won’t know I’ve seen them. Softly, Teddy’s calloused fingers explore the bumps and ridges in her skin, looking her in the eyes when I can as we kiss, embracing them, embracing her. I can feel how damp she is, slicking the area where she used to cut, and I try to will these fingers to be as dexterous as Eliza’s.

Prodding gently, Teddy’s index finger parts her outer lips, the trimmed hair of her mons soaked through. As I stroke, I place pressure on her perineum, and she grinds back into me. Noted. Teddy’s thumb tries to apply indirect contact to her clitoris, but her hips are so tiny, it’s awkward and her turn to breathe in sharply through her teeth. I keep moving my index finger around, slipping in deeper as I can and dare, teasing her as best I can with these indelicate mitts used to much rougher work.

She’s up on one elbow, her legs parted, thrown her left leg over Teddy’s hips as I probe deeper and slide one thick finger up into her vagina, poking in and out as her lips clench around. “Oh God, Gestalt,” she breathes out, just as I imagined in Brussels as we cuddled on the couch, and Eliza’s mouth twitches in satisfaction. Myfanwy lifts her weight up onto her hands, twists her hips so I’m rolled flat onto the bed, grabs Teddy and guides him into her in the space of her next inhale. As she sits down fully, every body at the flat reaches out and pinches an arm as hard as they can, keeping me here and resetting my brain so I do not shoot into her straight away.

Teddy’s eyes are glazed over as each of me experiences the physical sensation of a warm cunt around my cock for the... last ... first time. The emotional sensation of it – finally – being Myfanwy’s is almost too much to bear. All the bodies take in deep, slow breaths, trying to stay, trying not to finish exactly right now.

Her eyes meet mine, “Are you with me? Stay with me, Gestalt.” She begins to gently move her hips up against me. “I want you here, please.” It’s the please that gets me, and I struggle to the surface, seeing her for the first time again. She smiles and groans. “Yesss… there you are.” I crunch up a little and she leans down to meet me, kissing my lips as she angles her clit against my pelvis, running her hands through my hair again, gripping tightly this time. Confident that I can stay safe for another moment or two, I lie back down and push her shoulders back. With one hand on her hip and the other holding her wrist, Myf grins at me and leans back as far as she dares, putting her weight on her hand behind her and riding Teddy ever so slowly. Her hand in my wrist clasps me back, palm to palm.

“Fuuuuuuuck,” I breathe. Raising my hips to meet her, I decide that Teddy’s big hands are good for something, and as his hand on her hip guides the rhythm, he’s able to stretch his thumb out to graze her clit. Feeling so much of her against me, the walls in my mind disintegrate even faster, and it’s like a replay of Founder’s Feast where I’m uncertain which body is even here. Each of me feels everything so intensely, even Eliza experiences it like the best scissor she’s ever had. Since it’s midday, no lights are on in Myf’s apartment, but the alarm clock beside her bed flickers, and starts displaying digits that don’t exist, so I know it’s good for her, too.

The experience – physically and mentally – is overwhelming, but so is my desire to have her as much as possible. Clenching everything, I tug on her wrist and pull her to me, nearly sliding out. I kiss her lips fully, more deftly, for a few minutes while I adjust myself again. Recovering, I roll us over and slide into her as far as I possibly can, grinding our pelvic bones together and devouring her neck and running one hand over her breast. Remembering the moment with the fork in the restaurant, I squeeze her wrist too tightly and she gasps and then laughs a throaty chuckle as she grinds harder against me. I slowly pull out of her … all the way out… and bite her shoulder hard enough that I feel the cartilage move.

Her gasp is nearly a scream as her hips look for my cock and turns into a whimper as I pull away from her. I want it again, that tiny word was the one thing that reached me and I’m starving for it. “Please, Gestalt… please.” Oh Christ, I have no idea why but it’s like a drug. I reach down and guide myself back, fumbling the first try – goddamn virgin body – and getting it on the second as her cunt was tightening around nothing and is suddenly filled again, so tight as I thrust all the way into her and stop trying to control myself, pounding furiously.

She’s rising to meet me, her vocalizations wordless and punctuated by me. I’m moving her up against the headboard so I grab her hips and pull her back, bottoming out in the process. I know it’s probably too fast, but it’s too late and I’m climaxing into Myfanwy Thomas and my guttural grunts can drown out all the neighbors’ Netflix for all I fucking care.

I’m slowing, involuntarily, but my consciousness swims up again and has me make eye contact with her and she shakes her head no, slightly. I grit my teeth against the sensitivity and keep going, pulling her against me and rubbing her clit with my thumb. I bring my thumb to my mouth to lick it, but then decide to use the mess I’ve made of her as lube, and when I move my thumb back on, it’s like pulling a trigger. Her whole self seems to tighten around me and Teddy’s seeing stars – each of me is – as I thrust harder and harder into her climax until she grabs Teddy’s shoulder and squeezes. 

As I fall onto my side, breathless, she’s gasping beside me. I can’t describe it, it’s like all four of me are on the bed, but we’re occupying the same space. Something similar happened at Founder’s, but this is even more intense. She’s saying things, curled around me. As she kisses Teddy’s face, I try to smile or kiss back but I’m immobilized in a way that’s different from a post-coital slackness. She puts his arm around her and breathes deeply, twitching with her whole body every once in a while.

I can feel her heartbeat slow, but she doesn’t fall asleep. She seems to notice Teddy’s arm is deadweight, and she tries squeezing it, like you would a limb with pins and needles. I can start to hear her again, but it’s through static, or as though my ears are packed with gauze.

“Gestalt!” she’s forcefully shaking me now, panicked, “Gestalt!” I try moving Teddy’s eyes to look in hers, and with great effort I do. She calms down slightly when she sees my eyes move and puts her hand against my nose to see if I’m exhaling. Not even Eliza or Robert has recovered yet, and Alex is completely out. Myf is freaked but no longer panicked. I try to gesture with Teddy’s eyes that I’m ok, but I have no idea what’s being communicated. Myfanwy takes his hand and lies down again, this time stroking his hair. “You’re okay,” she says, to both me and herself, “you’re okay.”

She doesn’t remember Founder’s, but even if she did, she wouldn’t know because she left. She left smiling, but she left, waved on by Robert, whose body is used to post-coital reactions. But with her, it was to a level I’d never felt before. I’d wanted to leave with her, to walk her out – after all, I was looking for her coat when she found Robert in there. And it never occurred to me that she would fuck’n’run – honestly, she does not seem the type, even as NewMyf.

But I could not physically rouse a single body as she peeked out of the cloakroom door and pranced off with a satisfied smile. Maybe she thought I was being circumspect, trying not to advertise what just happened in there, but I would have left with her proudly and had Teddy glower at anyone who even looked like they were passing judgment. We were stuck there for minutes though, somewhere between five and ten if my internal clock was functioning correctly. Long enough for Myfanwy to be completely gone from the building by the time I was able to stagger to my feet. In an out-of-character move, all my bodies had to support each other as we left the party; most people thought we were drunk – I thought I was drunk on Myf.

And here I am, again, plastered to the bed with the woman I love curled around me, worried. Unable to tell her I am conscious and it will pass, unable to comfort her with a word or a touch.

Slowly, ever so slowly, after so long that I’m afraid she’s asleep… I’m able to bring Teddy’s hand to her shoulder. Her eyes flick open immediately. She’s on her knees, holding his hand. “Oh thank Christ, thank fucking Christ, Gestalt what the _bleeding hell_ was that?”

Myfanwy Thomas swore – over me – because she was concerned about me. It’s enough to make Teddy’s dick twitch. She sees it out of the corner of her eye.

“Fucking hell, holy shit not on your life. Not until you tell me what’s going on.” She kisses the side of my face multiple times before she remembers she’s mad at me. I open and close Teddy’s mouth several times, trying to see if air will support his voice.

“I unno,” he croaks, as I attempt a shrug. “Snever happen afore,” I kindof lie. The shrug is almost successful. She’s got tears in her eyes. Her body is shaking. I reach out and touch her leg and she grabs my hand and I squeeze.

“Is it me?” she asks. “Is it my … power?” I have a few theories, but I’m not ready to mention them until I test them. Scientifically.

I shake my head no. “Are you sure?” I could lie, but that would be worse in the long run. I shrug again, successfully, and start to sit up. She helps me, as much as a tiny twig like Myf can help Teddy.

Sitting up, she grabs the melted-ice water and puts it in my hand. I look at her and she helps me bring it to my lips. The coolness helps bring me back to myself, and I can feel the other bodies also start to stir.

“I don’t know anyfin – an I don’ wanna borrow trouble.” I look into her eyes and smile as much as I can, which turns out a little lopsided. “All I know is…” I squeeze her hand and look at her naked body from head to thigh, “That was the best sex that any of my bodies has ever had.”

She does the full-body blush again, and rests her arse on her heels. She raises one eyebrow.

“No fuckin contest.” And the kiss she gives me in response is even better than that. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far and have not signed the petition yet:[ give me more source material to work from, please! ](https://www.change.org/p/therookstarz-season-2-for-the-rook?signed=true)


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